IMPERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL STITCHES

One stitch at a time, but only when it's fun.

Home: Welcome

THIS IS ME

Amy loves hiking, fresh sour cream donuts, & creating with color! While stitching, she uses thread to paint, doodle, & letter - but only when it's fun!

She lives in Kansas, with her husband & three teens, but Texas was home for 22 years. Her favorite way to take a picture is with a big smile & her arms spread wide!

For most of the past ten years, Amy & her family have loved & learned from several foster children who will always have a special place in their hearts.

Amy creates imperfectly beautiful stitches and would love to teach you how to as well!

WANT TO STITCH WITH ME?

Having a passion for connecting with others in creative ways, I began to teach embroidery to friends in 2018. By the next year I was giving technical instruction on particular stitches whilst encouraging these groups of women to embrace the imperfections in their art. I teach process over product, texture over form, and fun over perfection. I love to stitch with friends - new and old - and would love to stitch with you! Please click to register for a class with me.

MY WORK

MY STITCHES

not for sale, just for beauty

HOMETOWN STAMPLERS

ONLINE STORE

DIGITAL DOWNLOADS

embroidery patterns available on Etsy

“I paint flowers so they will not die.”

Frida Kahlo

Books I read in May. #bookstagram #imperfectlybeautifulus

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

In-flight stitching. It's not knitting, crochet, needlepoint, or cross-stitch, but I live that you're interested and yes, you can touch it if your hands look clean & you're gentle. It may look tedious, but to me, when I'm following my own pattern, is mostly just calming.
#imperfectlybeautifulstitches #stitchingwhenitsfun

Yes, I get too attached. 💛🩷🧡

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #tooattached #fosterlove #raylight #kyky #alwaysworththeprocess #morevaluablethanthecosts #imperfectlybeautifulus

"A story I’ll never forget is the first time #kyky came over to visit. She was just a baby and had (recently) moved in with my aunt. Everyone was watching her and talking, but at one point, I picked her up and started reading her a book while she sat on my lap. She stayed calm and listened, and I remember feeling proud that she felt comfortable with me. Even though there were a lot of people around, that moment felt special. It showed me how even little things—like reading a book—can help someone feel loved. I’ll never forget that day. 💛
Guest post by my nephew @sammy_lichte1234
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #neverforget #fosterlove #kyky #imperfectlybeautifulus

So imagine with me...
the tiny child is just over two years old
she can follow directions & wants to copy
she knows & understands the goal
she is eager to make it happen
However....
she is unable to do any of it very well
she might get it right with enough attempts
someone really needs to be with her so a child doesn't get hurt
Remind you of anything???
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #thebrokensystem #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

"Being a foster cousin means getting used to a lot of hellos and goodbyes. Each time one of my foster cousins comes to visit or stay with my aunt, it’s a new beginning for them—and for me too. I always try to help them feel comfortable, even if it’s just playing with them or talking to them for a bit. The hellos can be exciting, but the goodbyes are hard. Sometimes I don’t know if or when I’ll see them again, and that part is really sad. But I’ve learned that every moment counts, even the short visits. No matter how long they stay, they always stay in my heart."
- my nephew @sammy_lichte1234
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #hellogoodbye #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

"I’m a sister to kids who’ve only stayed a weekend, to ones we still visit from time to time, to one who comes back every Friday like she never left - and to my bio siblings, Amelia and Jacob.

Being a foster sibling means stepping on toys, wiping tears (theirs and mine), and trying to put them to bed (even though we all know they'll stay awake until someone else puts them to bed “the right way"). It’s giving up quietness, space, and routine.

But it also means gaining so many little besties, hours of baby cuddles, a mini sous chef, and art buddies that never run out of ideas. It means having tea parties, playing the same game hundreds of times, pretending that the floor is lava, playing doctor, and having impromptu dance parties. It’s letting a three-year-old give you fantastic makeup looks, and realizing your phone storage is 90% full of photos featuring them (or taken by them).

It's cheering for their first steps, the first time they say my name, the first night they sleep all the way through in a new house. It's clapping for their concerts in the living room, and proudly keeping their art.

And sometimes, it's them cheering for me. Like #raylight watching me graduate and telling me she's excited that I'm going to college, but she'll also miss me a lot.

Being a foster sibling is saying goodbye when you don't want to. And it's loving with your whole heart, even when you know things might change. It hasn't been perfect, but I can't imagine anything different."

Shared by our youngest biological child. The one who was displaced as the baby of the family over and over and over again. And the one who is the final straw in causing us to be (part-time) empty-nesters in just a couple of months, Aveline @palettes.and.palates

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #babynoellie #babyjames #chaseisonthecase #tripleds #imperfectlybeautifulus

Want some other statistics? I thought so. References are included below lest you think I’m making this stuff up.

27% of 17 year olds in foster care have been referred for substance use treatment. Compare that to 7.8% of the general population ages 12 or older.

More than half of the children in foster care experienced social phobia, depression, and or other mental health conditions. (If each of these children in Kansas could get the professional help they need, we’d need 35% more pediatric psychiatrists than we have right now.)

50% of the US homeless population spent time in foster care.

Within 18 months of emancipation, 40-50% of foster youth become homeless.

About 70% of youth who exit foster care as legal adults are arrested at least once by age 26.

By age 17, over 50% of foster youth will have an encounter with the juvenile legal system.

Almost 20% of the US prison population is comprised of former foster children.

Post researched & written by my sis, @jlichte

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #statisticsday #fosterlove #imperfectlybeautifulus

AI made a visual representation of these people that I speak up for. The aunties, grandmothers, mamas, and the dad. The ones I've met and spoken to and known. There are others that I've not known. But here's the truth: all these family members, they love their kid. And one of my jobs as a fostermom is to communicate that love to their kid, when they can't. 🫶🏻 #insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #babycarey #babynoellie #kyky #babyjames #imperfectlybeautifulus

Blocked care. Melissa Corkum [ @melissacorkum_] teaches about this. If you're in the fostercare world, you should know about this. Follow her, read her work, look for warning signs, learn from her.

One of the exercises for readers in the book Finding Compassion, that she wrote with @lisacqualls is to make a list of things that bring you joy. Make time for points of joy each day. And so I do.

#stitching #embroidery #insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #blockedcare #fosterlove #imperfectlybeautifulus

Family reunification (sometimes referred to as reintegration) is the goal of foster care. What can I do, as a fostermom, to help?

✔ I can ask for contact information for the family and regularly send pictures to them. (Think about the gift that photos and updates would be to you if your child weren't able to be with you.)

✔ I can let the child's worker the love the mama/nana/auntie (and sometimes dad) is showing toward their child.

✔ I can advocate for the visit time to be when the child isn't at his favorite weekly activity or so that it does happen when the baby is typically awake, so that seeing mom or dad is a joy and not an additional hardship or loss for the child.

✔ I can pack a bag for the child with favorite items, snacks, and supplies to set the family up for success during the short time they have together.

✔ Just our attitude about biological families can influence our words to workers or the judge.

Studies from Berrick (2011) and Malm (2011) show that foster parents who maintain a positive view of birth families and actively support reunification contribute to better outcomes for children and families alike.

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #familyreunification #fosterlove #raylight #kyky #imperfectlybeautifulus

If you came to my home, you'd see our goddaughter every weekend and other babies in and out. You'd see aunties dropping off babies for the day and DCF bringing a baby for a couple of days.
If you came to my home, you'd see older kids helping with little ones and sometimes little ones helping the older kids. You'd see literacy in all forms and independence encouraged.
If you came to my home, you'd see jumping on mattresses and people leaving to go to the park. You'd also see our foster license posted, along with safety routes for fire and tornado escapes, because it's the law that we do.
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #babynoellie #imperfectlybeautifulus

I cry in the car considering what court will tell
I cry in the car as I say a (possible?) final farewell
I cry in the car while she wails and wails and wails
I cry in the car when my emotional strength fails
I cry in the car during their biological family visits
I cry in the car when they scrap the case plan to bits

Sometimes I cry happy tears, other times there are tears of exhaustion. Sometimes I cry tears of relief and other times there are tears of frustration. At any given time, the system could spark tears. But sometimes I'm able to hop off the roller coaster of emotions and know that nothing is true in fostercare until it actually happens.

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #cryinginthecar #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

Something I pray every day is that the things I have advocated for are the right things.
I pray every day that each time I speak up on behalf of mamas, aunties, and nanas that the best interest of the child is met.
I pray every day that each time I advocate for more time to transition, more time in therapy, more time for the parent to work their case plan, more time for the new worker to understand the history that the best interest of the child is met.
I pray every day that each time I interact with the kiddos in our home that I am helping them to heal and grow so that the best interest of the child is met.
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

Anyone who has ever been to CINC court in this county recognizes this wall. It's the wall in the hall, in the basement, outside the courtroom, where everyone waits their turn.

Mamas, babies, foster parents, teenagers, aunties, nanas, grannies, boyfriends, sisters, godmothers, case managers, court appointed defenders, neighbors, friends, CASAs.... everyone waiting their turn in the same small space for their turn.

Everyone who is nauseous or confident or indifferent or steady waiting their turn in the same small space for their turn.

Lives are about to be changed once the doors open and we all walk inside and hear what the court has to say.

Children are about to be safer - or less safe - once the doors open and we all walk inside and hear what the court has to say.

All of us there to support the ones hoping and praying for the answer they want to hear are about to know what kind of support needs to be offered once the doors open and we all walk inside and hear what the court has to say..

And sometimes nothing happens at all once the doors open and we all walk inside and hear what the court has to say. Just a continuance.

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #babycarey #imperfectlybeautifulus

Before fostercare, this child had one bedroom. Now she has several, in two different households. At our house, she has a bedroom with her old bed in it (her crib) and her new bed in someone else's room. She calls them both "her room" and it gets pretty confusing. And then almost every night she wants to "sleep in yours room, mama" which never works and then if we travel & get a VRBO she speaks possessively about "her room" at our "new house."
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

I’ve loved being a foster brother. It’s taught me a lot about compassion and how to be a good older sibling. It’s also been fun playing with the kids who’ve come through our home and watching them grow. I get why people worry about how fostering might affect their bio kids (and I think that concern is valid), but at least for me, it’s had a really positive impact on my life.💚 -Jacob, 21yo bio kid in a foster family & Amy's son, pictured here with my two godsisters.
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #misconception #fosterlove #raylight #kyky #imperfectlybeautifulus

My unhinged confession: I stab a needle in & out of fabric whilst holding sleeping babies.
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #unhingedconfessions #nfcmnfcm #fosterlove #babycarey #imperfectlybeautifulstitches

Once you see the love on her mama's face, you can't unsee it. Once you hear the desperation & sadness in her nana's voice, you can't un-hear it. Once you feel the tremble of the sobs in her auntie's hug, you can't un-feel it. Once you read the studies from Berrick (2011) and Malm (2011) that show "foster parents who maintain a positive view of birth families and actively support reunification contribute to better
outcomes for children and families alike" you can't un-read it. Once you understand the love of biological family members, you can't ignore it.

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #babycarey #imperfectlybeautifulus

Disclaimer: I know there are times when reunification can’t happen, but even then we can still work to preserve relationships. As foster parents, we need to remember that considering safety is much different than considering comfort. Building these relationships can often be awkward, but meeting in public places is very rarely unsafe.

The first night I held this baby girl my heart told me she "belonged" to me and that was terrifying. I felt fear but it wasn't actually the attachment that was the source of fear, it was the anticipation of the inevitable grief. (That night, thankfully, this feeling was closely followed by one of deep sadness for the mama who wasn't holding her, the mama with empty arms, the mama who wasn't able to kiss her baby goodnight.)

Feelings of attachment can be helpful as I fill the role of "mom" while a baby is in our home. However, it is paramount to remember that the goal of my attachment to the baby is to teach the baby how to attach.

Drawing from a study by Burton & Showell (1997), once a baby attaches to a responsive caregiver, that attachment can be transferred to another caregiver.

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #kyky #imperfectlybeautifulus

*This content was also shared on @fostervillagenortheastks on May 5. I was the author of that and decided to share again here.

Former foster children are almost twice as likely to suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as U.S. war veterans, according to a study released by the Harvard Medical School (HMS), the University of Michigan and Casey Family Programs.
Most studies I've seen show the rate between 20-30% of those who spent time in state care have or will develop PTSD from the trauma incurred as a child.
That means that likely one of these four babies that I parented for a time will be diagnosed with PTSD at some point.
#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #1in4 #ptsd #imperfectlybeautifulus

And when people ask what the parents did, they want all the tea. Was it abuse, did they witness domestic abuse, was there parental drug use, were they neglected?
I wish everyone were asking what supports we can offer parents in the future so that removal doesn't happen as often.

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

Something no one talks about: our own health journeys.

Endocrinologist Susan Brian encourages us to not neglect our own physical health especially in the forties as we get older.

#insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #menopause #imperfectlybeautifulus

POV: I'm a (former) foster youth.
Of course I'm not. But I'm going to share something our 4yo goddaughter said last week.

"I miss Mama ______."

Our goddaughter has never lived with her. As a baby, she visited her Mama ______ once a week for about a year. And then that precious mama died. We have photos of them together. We have photos of her mama playing with her, holding her, loving her.

It doesn't matter to the 4yo what happened to cause her removal from her mama's care.
It doesn't matter to the 4yo that she has now been adopted by her wonderful Nana.
It doesn't matter to the 4yo that she still calls me mama also.

She has an innate need and desire for her mama. And she misses her.

(Also shown are an AI-generated picture that is similar to one on the 4yo's wall, and the cover of my favorite book on death. The book doesn't address the emotional parts of grieving, but rather it focuses on how every living thing has a beginning and an end and there is living in between. It is thoughtful and sincere. The language is repetitive and poetic. It's more of an explainer and a starting point.)

#insidefostercare #nfcm #formerfosteryouth #thisisfostercare #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

[Not a real situation at this time, but do you understand what's going on in the following sentence?]
"DCF wants reintegration, but there's a TPR hearing next week. KVC is making a concurrent plan & CASA is weighing it with a plan that competes with the GAL. Also FVNEKS is bringing a new car seat since I'm fictive kin and ICPC is delaying everything again. 😂🥴 #iykyk #insidefostercare #fostermama #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

"My whole life, my parents have displayed empathy. They showed me what that meant by inviting kids in foster care into our home. And, by listening and valuing, not just what the kids said, but what their (biological) parents said, and were struggling through. Whenever we talked as a family about why a kid was in our home, my parents never looked down on their (biological) parents. They never told us the (biological) parents were less than, and instead said their kids could not live with them because it was unsafe. My parents would say they needed help, which is where we came in, while they were striving to make their home safe for their children." -Amelia @lizzybaylor
#insidefostercare #fostersister #biologicalfamily #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

* Go to therapy. Remember to take care of yourself. 💗
@fosterthefamilyblog
#imperfectlybeautifulus

Love is cheering for the biological parents without having any reason to do so.
We (foster parents) are told that the child was removed from their home but we usually aren't told exactly what happened.
We are often given just enough information to think very poorly about the parents but not enough information to have any empathy for them.
It's easy to think of them as unworthy of their own children.
It's easy to think of them as unloving.
It's easy to think of them as not deserving of dignity.
But to write them notes of encouragement, speak positively of them to their kids, to truly want them to reunify with their children - that takes action. And words. And the action of sharing the words.
And sometimes - maybe even often - they will share words back. And they will return the encouragement. And they will also choose love.
#insidefostercare #fostermama #familyreunification #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #kyky #imperfectlybeautifulus

i wish i knew that i held the strength to change the emotional tone of our home, as a young mama.
i wish i knew that connection is often so much greater than correction.
i wish i knew that anticipating & de-escalating were more helpful than punishing.
i wish i knew to offer snacks & hugs & breaks more often than chores & shrugs & shushes.
i wish i knew that the strategy to parent - the one that fostered secure attachment & built trusting relationships - could be used with all kids & not just those who've experienced trauma.
i wish i knew about all the tools available to me & i wish i felt permission to use those tools on my biological kids.

AND for the 10 years following, i wish i knew that i was doing the best i could with the resources i had. i wish i knew i didn't have to live with regret. i wish i knew i truly loved these three babies the best i was able.

i wish i knew.

#insidefostercare #fostermama #tbri #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #imperfectlybeautifulus

This is my why: Families belong together. It's not only possible, but when there's family that is safe, loving, & healthy, research makes it clear that family is best. And that is the ultimate goal of the system: reunification with family.
But during the in-between, when they can't be with their biological family, we have room in our hearts and space in our home to be a temporary family. And in the best cases, we get to have a relationship with the mama or auntie or nana. 💛
#imperfectlybeautifulstitches #insidefostercare #fostermama #familyreunification #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #imperfectlybeautifulus

Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Amy. 💛 I'm a textile artist. And a foster mom. I'll be sharing mostly daily this month from a list of prompts by @fosterthefamilyblog for the purpose of fostercare education & advocacy.
I'm forever married to Kevin, & the mom of Aveline, Jacob, & Amelia - who will all 3 be in college in just a couple of months! 💗 And we have two goddaughters, #kyky
and #raylight who are the surprises I never knew to hope for when we started this journey. 💗
I am passionate about advocating for reunification with biological families & foster parenting with a focus on attachment. I love helping fostermoms connect with one another.
Hikes with friends are my favorite but hiking alone pretty much terrifies me. I love sushi & old-fashioned doughnuts the most.
I mess up all the time & I'm thankful for grace. I find peace & hope in the God of the Bible. My favorite way to pose for a photo is jumping in the air, with my arms spread wide.
And did I mention that I love to stitch? Especially whilst reading an audiobook.

Tell me something fun about you! Whether we're besties or kin or you've never commented, or we're friends irl or you're new here, I'd love to learn something fun about you!

#imperfectlybeautifulstitches #insidefostercare #fostermama #familyreunification #thisisfostercare #nfcm #fosterlove #imperfectlybeautifulus

Finished. My brother took the last stitch in Omaha, Nebraska. It sounds like a fun new thing to have someone different take the final stitch of each piece. What do you think? #imperfectlybeautifulstitches @snugglymonkey #myneedletoday #sashikoembroidery #coloringbooksforgrownups #myneedleandthread

Life is good.
#insidefostercare #thisisfostercare #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

Tiny quilt. Same process. Now used as a coaster.

I learnt this process during a class during the retreat with @hibernate_and_create & my mistakes taught me even more. I'm eager to start my next kawandi-inspired quilt.
#imperfectlybeautifulstitches #stitchingwhenitsfun #kawandiinspired

We pick this cutie up almost every Friday afternoon from Head Start, & then we drop her off on Monday mornings. She's with her Nana and siblings during the week days. She's adapted so well to switching between different sets of daily rhythms, boundaries, menus, etc. One thing she hadn't had to adjust to: both households stock popsicles for her! 💛 #insidefostercare #fostercareawareness #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

Kawandi means "quilt" in the language spoken by the Siddi's. The Siddi people are of African descent, living in India.
The style of quilting they use involves some techniques that I've not used before. And I think I might've found my new favorite way to bind!!
A backing fabric is chosen, patchwork is sewn along the outer edges whilst turning over the raw edges of fabric - so the binding is essentially done as the first step in the quilt. It gets rather precious (read: specific & detailed) as you continue sewing in squares/rectangles toward the middle, but it was a fun puzzle to solve!
I learnt this process during a class during the retreat with @hibernate_and_create & my mistakes taught me even more. I'm eager to start my next kawandi-inspired quilt.
#imperfectlybeautifulstitches #stitchingwhenitsfun #kawandiinspired

This girl. So glad we get to be a part of her life. 💛 #insidefostercare #thisisfostercare #fosterlove #raylight #alwaysworththeprocess #morevaluablethanthecosts #imperfectlybeautifulus

1 Come up from the back of the fabric, onto the front of the fabric, with your needle pulling the thread.

2 Take the thread in your left hand and hold the needle in your right hand.

3 Loop the thread around the needle. Push the needle - just slightly - into the fabric. (Do not push the needle all the way to the back of the fabric.)

4 While the tip of the needle is in the fabric, pull the looped thread, so that it's tight against the needle and then slide it down the needle so that the loop is pushed against the fabric.

5 Keep holding the thread so that it stays taut against the fabric, while you bring the needle all the way to the back.

Do this over and over and over and over. Essentially, you're making tiny dots anywhere your needle comes out of the fabric.

This is called the French knot.

#imperfectlybeautifulstitches #stitchingwhenitsfun #stitchinglessons

This child is sunshine & joy & sparkle glitter. ☀️❇️💖 Except when she's not, because let's be real, she's three and she has her moments. #imperfectlybeautifulus #fosterlove #raylight #morevaluablethanthecosts #alwaysworththeprocess

We couldn't be happier! 💛 #imperfectlybeautifulus #fosterlove #raylight #morevaluablethanthecosts #alwaysworththeprocess

*@kenny_bednarek - Olympic medalist & former foster youth
*@fostervillagenortheastks stitching @reconferencekc
*touchable art created for those who are visually impaired @equalmindedcafe & the best KC chai
*questions to start conversations with your kids listed by @shanelledupree
*art @antlerroomkc by @bespokecrestco
#imperfectlybeautifulus #imperfectlybeautifulstitches #insidefostercare #olympictrack

Down and up, going in and out of the fabric with your needle.

Down on the right end of the line you are making, and up on the left end of the line. (Or up on the right end of the line you are drawing with the thread, and down on the left end of the line.)

Do this over and over and over, filling the space with adjacent and parallel lines of threads.

This is called the satin stitch.

#imperfectlybeautifulstitches #stitchingwhenitsfun #stitchinglessons

There's no confidence that can measure up to that of a 3yo when they can convince you to stop for a potty emergency and then spit on the toilet and say "there's nothing." Because if you're willing to unbuckle the 5pt carseat at the airport drop-off line, go inside, find the bathroom, take them inside, and then willingly go along with the assessment that "there's nothing," what won't you do for them? 😄💛💛 #imperfectlybeautifulus #insidefostercare #fosterlove #raylight

She's making......?
#insidefostercare #thisisfostercare #fosterlove #raylight #imperfectlybeautifulus

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